ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Randomize
