She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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