I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
