Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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