I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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