She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
