i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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