I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
