"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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