You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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