i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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