Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
