One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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