Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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