so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
drinking out of a sandbucket again
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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