Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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