what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I skipped work to stalk him.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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