I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
