oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
