literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
wow bdsm is so cute
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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