She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
