Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
