help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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