Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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