butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
