I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
