Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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