Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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