My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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