Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize