well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
