420 ftw
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
