we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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