I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
