Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
