Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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