I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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