All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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