at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
OPIZZABONMYDICK
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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