You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
