the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
