Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize