How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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