OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
