ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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