May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
