goodnight i made you a song goodbye
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
