I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he was CRYING into my vagina
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
