I wish life had little blips of pornography
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
