i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
