mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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