Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
