why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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