Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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