I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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