my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
