I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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