You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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