Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize