if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just found puke in my bra..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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